It hasn't been as long as it was between my last two posts, but it has been a while. I thought it time for an update.
I went back to choir against my better judgement, had the mother of all bust ups with my former friend Mrs T and quit again. I have not regretted that decision for an instant. I should have stuck to my guns and not allowed myself to be manipulated but hindsight is wonderful. I spent some time in something akin to recovery, I think. I believe I now have the teeniest insight into what it must be like to have been a cult member and then to have escaped. I could not see for looking at the time but now I look back on certain conversations and incidents and I see them in a completely different light. It appears that our entire friendship was built on lies and sand and I believed it all. What I do not know, and probably never will know, is whether she believes her own lies and propaganda or whether she is actually malevolent.
Either way, I do not need that crap in my life and I am glad to be away from it. What upsets me most is the way that she has destroyed my friendships with other members of the choir; since I quit, I have not had so much as a text from a single one of them. I clearly do not need friends like them so I suppose you could say it's not much of a loss. If I never see any of them again, it will be way, way too soon. Jarel-the-vicar says that when we are in Heaven, we will not know people in the same way as we do now; that we will be aware that we had some sort of relationship while we were on earth but we won't know them. I don't know how I feel about that really, but in this particular case, it might not be the worst thought ever...
On a more positive note, I still drive the Yaris although it has a few more dents in it now, one lot due to me reversing into a taxi that was parked on the pavement outside a gate I was reversing out of with no lights on in the dark. Thankfully, there was not much damage and the driver wasn't keen to supply me with his insurance details leading me to think that he wasn't the actual owner or licensed taxi driver. That worked for me, I gave him the few quid I had in my wallet and drove off very quickly in case he changed his mind. The other lot was thanks to a woman ploughing into the back of me when I was queuing at a roundabout. She didn't realise the traffic had stopped despite there being a line of brake lights 150 metres long, apparently. No serious damage done although my car looks a little sorrier for itself.
I'm still in the crappy job but actively looking for something else now as opposed to occasionally scrolling through the jobs boards to see if anything takes my fancy. I want a career change. Training provision is all about the money *cue for a mental song* and I am interested in quality. Apparently, it's one or the other so I am definitely out. I don't really have a clear idea of what I would like to do so planning a career change at this stage is proving somewhat challenging but I have no doubt that it will sort itself out eventually.
The biggest news is that I finally managed to buy a house earlier this year and now I live in a small village a bit north west of Newport. Bizarrely, it takes about the same time to get to work even though on paper, I am twice as far away. It is a longer drive but much of it is on dual carriageways and there is really only one major bottleneck which is the junction to the M4. They have been "making improvements" since the beginning of last year and it continues to be a problem. The "improvements" were supposed to be finished by now but true to governmental form, they are not. Whether the "improvements" actually improve the traffic flow once they are over, we shall see.
In any case, I like having my own house and it is certainly 100% quieter than living in a flat ever was although there is a lot of cosmetic work that needs to be done which I didn't see when I was looking at the house so it will be a while until I feel fully settled. The oven proved to be so disgusting that I ended up buying a new one as I figured it would cost me the same to pay for a professional cleaning service but it was an expense I wasn't expecting. The fridge-freezer I bought makes noises like a distressed cow which my mum insists is not unusual but I remain unconvinced. The washing machine does what it is supposed to do which is a relief.
The Methodists continue to be perfectly nuts and that shows no sign of changing. Heather has stopped being quite so jaunty on the organ but she does have a disturbing penchant for picking the "other tune" to all the hymns which I absolutely never know. We have formed a trio with Cath on the guitar and have been practising a new tune to "And can it be" which was written by Nathan Fellingham. I prefer it but no doubt the older members of the congregation will not be as thrilled; the first half of the opening verse will be me singing with Cath on the guitar and then Heather will join in with some chords on the piano, second verse will be full piano with chords on the guitar and then Cath joins in singing for the third verse where we give it some serious welly and then Heather will join in singing for the fourth verse which will get louder and louder until we dial it right back in with just Cath on the guitar and me singing for the last two lines. I am actually quite looking forward to it but we won't be doing that until January for our covenant service. In the meantime, I am going to attempt "That yonge childe" from "A ceremony of carols" for Carols by Candlelight which may, or may not, be utter madness. If it is, I suppose it will be in keeping...
I went back to choir against my better judgement, had the mother of all bust ups with my former friend Mrs T and quit again. I have not regretted that decision for an instant. I should have stuck to my guns and not allowed myself to be manipulated but hindsight is wonderful. I spent some time in something akin to recovery, I think. I believe I now have the teeniest insight into what it must be like to have been a cult member and then to have escaped. I could not see for looking at the time but now I look back on certain conversations and incidents and I see them in a completely different light. It appears that our entire friendship was built on lies and sand and I believed it all. What I do not know, and probably never will know, is whether she believes her own lies and propaganda or whether she is actually malevolent.
Either way, I do not need that crap in my life and I am glad to be away from it. What upsets me most is the way that she has destroyed my friendships with other members of the choir; since I quit, I have not had so much as a text from a single one of them. I clearly do not need friends like them so I suppose you could say it's not much of a loss. If I never see any of them again, it will be way, way too soon. Jarel-the-vicar says that when we are in Heaven, we will not know people in the same way as we do now; that we will be aware that we had some sort of relationship while we were on earth but we won't know them. I don't know how I feel about that really, but in this particular case, it might not be the worst thought ever...
On a more positive note, I still drive the Yaris although it has a few more dents in it now, one lot due to me reversing into a taxi that was parked on the pavement outside a gate I was reversing out of with no lights on in the dark. Thankfully, there was not much damage and the driver wasn't keen to supply me with his insurance details leading me to think that he wasn't the actual owner or licensed taxi driver. That worked for me, I gave him the few quid I had in my wallet and drove off very quickly in case he changed his mind. The other lot was thanks to a woman ploughing into the back of me when I was queuing at a roundabout. She didn't realise the traffic had stopped despite there being a line of brake lights 150 metres long, apparently. No serious damage done although my car looks a little sorrier for itself.
I'm still in the crappy job but actively looking for something else now as opposed to occasionally scrolling through the jobs boards to see if anything takes my fancy. I want a career change. Training provision is all about the money *cue for a mental song* and I am interested in quality. Apparently, it's one or the other so I am definitely out. I don't really have a clear idea of what I would like to do so planning a career change at this stage is proving somewhat challenging but I have no doubt that it will sort itself out eventually.
The biggest news is that I finally managed to buy a house earlier this year and now I live in a small village a bit north west of Newport. Bizarrely, it takes about the same time to get to work even though on paper, I am twice as far away. It is a longer drive but much of it is on dual carriageways and there is really only one major bottleneck which is the junction to the M4. They have been "making improvements" since the beginning of last year and it continues to be a problem. The "improvements" were supposed to be finished by now but true to governmental form, they are not. Whether the "improvements" actually improve the traffic flow once they are over, we shall see.
In any case, I like having my own house and it is certainly 100% quieter than living in a flat ever was although there is a lot of cosmetic work that needs to be done which I didn't see when I was looking at the house so it will be a while until I feel fully settled. The oven proved to be so disgusting that I ended up buying a new one as I figured it would cost me the same to pay for a professional cleaning service but it was an expense I wasn't expecting. The fridge-freezer I bought makes noises like a distressed cow which my mum insists is not unusual but I remain unconvinced. The washing machine does what it is supposed to do which is a relief.
The Methodists continue to be perfectly nuts and that shows no sign of changing. Heather has stopped being quite so jaunty on the organ but she does have a disturbing penchant for picking the "other tune" to all the hymns which I absolutely never know. We have formed a trio with Cath on the guitar and have been practising a new tune to "And can it be" which was written by Nathan Fellingham. I prefer it but no doubt the older members of the congregation will not be as thrilled; the first half of the opening verse will be me singing with Cath on the guitar and then Heather will join in with some chords on the piano, second verse will be full piano with chords on the guitar and then Cath joins in singing for the third verse where we give it some serious welly and then Heather will join in singing for the fourth verse which will get louder and louder until we dial it right back in with just Cath on the guitar and me singing for the last two lines. I am actually quite looking forward to it but we won't be doing that until January for our covenant service. In the meantime, I am going to attempt "That yonge childe" from "A ceremony of carols" for Carols by Candlelight which may, or may not, be utter madness. If it is, I suppose it will be in keeping...
posted by OrientBird | 23:31
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