So I've turned up for church because I am down to read the lesson. I generally feel somewhat uninspired these Sunday mornings and am finding that I really have to drag myself round the corner for the service. Alison says it's not supposed to be about what you get out of it but what you bring but how can I be bringing anything when I feel uninspired, unchallenged and somewhat bored..?
Anyway, I'm reading the lesson which is actually two lessons, both of which are quite long, and so I had come. Heather is playing the organ this morning because Roger is preaching somewhere else or he's on holiday or ... something. Heather is also our treasurer; she's a very decent person and seems to quite enjoying the organ on the odd occasion but wouldn't want to do it all the time.
To compensate for the fact that Roger plays everything really too slowly, Heather always tries to speed things up with sometimes hilarious consequences. Like this morning... the preacher (who is an older gentleman who is on the dull side but not the worst by far) has chosen an awful song called Make Way (for the children, apparently). I absolutely hate it. It's not in my top 5 hates as it's simply no match for the likes of Bind us Together or Make me a Channel of your Peace but it is a terrible whine; mostly due to the fact that it has an echo which no one can ever seem to sing at the right time and no one is ever really sure who is supposed to do the main bit and who is supposed to sing the echo. I, of course, don't care. It just about works on the piano but never on the organ.
 I can't understand why we can't have the piano and the organ but apparently we can't. So Heather is stuck up in the eerie and we have the awful song. So Heather decides to give it some welly and appears to be trying to make it jaunty. Naturally, the congregation have no idea what's going on because it's three times the speed it usually is and no one can get the echo in on time... Obviously, I find this utterly hilarious and can't stop laughing. Quite why I find this so funny, I couldn't say but organists/pianists out of time with congregations is one of those things which never fails to start me off.
But that's sad. I mean surely there must be more than turning up to find the organ/congregation interaction funny which is what has made me ask more than once lately - what on earth is the point? My bed is warm, God is there whether I turn up to church or not and the world will keep going until someone presses the button and puts us all out of our misery... right...?

Well. It has been a considerably long time since I blogged last. I decided the other day that I was going to make a better effort but I hadn't realised that it has been quite as long as it has.
Since I last blogged, there have been one or two major changes - the most important of which, I suppose, is that I passed my driving test two years ago and am now the proud driver of a 2009 Yaris which looks considerably more battered after being owned by me for two years than it did in the 6 years it had a pensioner who barely drove it behind the wheel. It's the perfect car for me, small and sturdy; it does loads of miles to the gallon and it was in really good nick when I bought it. It was a terrific and completely coincidental find which came at the end of an appalling few weekends looking at what felt like every car dealership in the country.
I had almost given up and then a random text from a dealer I had asked about another car said they had a car that might suit me on the forecourt. It had just come in and they would give me first refusal. I sent Mum down to have a look at it and without even having seen it myself, I put the deposit down and I had myself a car. My first major drive in it was a somewhat hairy drive from Devon (where I bought it) back home. Then the next day I drove to Cheltenham. Scary.
Also since my last entry, I have got myself yet another job. Working for ACT was worse than working for ITEC, I found myself making a complaint about another member of staff for bullying and harrassment and then being on notice of redundancy with the rest of my team within the first six months. I wasn't made redundant, in fact, I got a promotion out of the process but it was horrible and stressful and things only went down hill from there. When I was offered a different job, I jumped at it. Out of the frying pan, perhaps, but at least I earn a bit more now.
I work for another training provider but I don't deal directly with learners any more; I now sit on the Quality team and am involved with staff development. The pay is better but still crap and the office is even further away than the last one. I hate driving and I spend way too much time in the office in order to avoid the nightly fiasco at the other side of the Gabalfa interchange. This cannot go on and it is my intention to look for something more conducive to my well-being this year.
I joined two choirs and have now quit both. I just don't love singing any more. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it makes me miserable in a way I could never, ever have anticipated. I have an ongoing issue with my right jaw joint which causes a lot of discomfort and I just can't get the notes out like I used to. Time to find another passion, I suppose...
I still live at the crappy flat. The neighbours are still ridiculous but I am hopeful that I will find somewhere to live permanently this year.
Lastly, since I last blogged, I must report with the deepest sadness that we lost Uncle Hans and Uncle Bill within a few weeks of each other the year before last. I was fortunate enough to have visited Uncle Hans the week before he went; he had been ill for a long time but Uncle Bill was taken ill very suddenly and it was quite a shock. Mum also lost two long term family friends within the same few months so it was pretty horrendous all round.
Every year as I see out the old one, and see in the new one, I tell myself that this will be my year... maybe ... just maybe, this really will be the one that sees me sorting myself out.